In Anticipation of Halloween

With Halloween a week away and the drunken nights to celebrate it even closer at hand, I’ve decided to let you in on some of the shit I’m going to start instituting as holiday traditions at my house. They include special drinks, cult classics, and timeless music videos, among other things.

Food & Drink

Not so much food… more so drink. For a special Halloween treat, dump a 26 of vodka, a six-pack of generic beer, and two cans of pink lemonade into a bucket, stir it up, and… voila. Porch climber. Particularly apt for Halloween because of how sick people’s porches look. This drink will make you want to climb them, honest to God. Drink it out of a tacky skull goblet from Walmart, $4.


Watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s not overrated. It’s fucking awesome. Dress like a sideshow freak, crack open a beer, and sing along. Throw some toilet paper or toast at your TV screen while you’re at it. Sing “Sweet Transvestite” loudly and proudly.

If you’re less into that particular cult classic than I am, and prefer celebrating a more sinister than entertaining Halloween, try watching Roman Polanski’s adaptation of Macbeth. Super fucking creepy.


My favourite things to read around Halloween are Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart”, which, for those of you who are unfamiliar with it, is about a guy who kills another guy, buries the body underneath his floorboards and then is driven to madness by the “sound” of his (supposedly) still beating heart. Read it here, and if you’re not into reading, listen to an epic dramatized version of it here.

Another favourite is Washington Irving’s “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”, which features that unfortunate soul with an even more unfortunate name (Ichabod Crane).Text is here, Disney adaptation is here.

Music (Videos)

Obviously, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is the quintessential Halloween anthem. If you don’t listen to it on or around Halloween, you have no soul. Watch the full 14-minute music video here.Rihanna’s “Disturbia”, another one of my Halloween favourites, is here.

Happy Halloween, safe drinking, and may the odds be ever in your favour.


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